The challenge

Review copy for a comprehensive landing page that introduces the benefits of FlexInvest and provides some guidance to those who are new to investing.

The context

The biggest challenge with this piece of copy was that it was drafted by someone in senior management. That meant that the team who requested the review really just wanted endorsement by a copywriter rather than an actual review. So I was asked to keep my edits minimal. However, there were some issues within the draft. Here’s how I would suggest fixing them.

The solution

  • Change the article to an indefinite one so it doesn’t sound like we’re trying to sell it too hard
  • Identify the problem first, then link it up to the solution which is FlexInvest
  • Make the copy more succinct
  • Align the currency style to that prescribed in the global copy guidelines
  • Break up the first paragraph into 2 lines to make it easier to read and more punchy
  • List the fees in a more logical order
  • Avoid using dashes when there’s already a dash used to denote a range as it looks visually confusing
  • Reword the header to be a bit more impactful
  • Make the copy more direct and succinct
  • Use ‘curated’ instead of ‘hand-selected’ as funds are not a physical product that can be selected by hand
  • Provide more context as to why the reader should select the link and see all the funds that are available in FlexInvest
  • Revise the line for understanding risk tolerance so that it aligns more closely with the content it leads to
  • Begin the first line with a verb to create more of a hook
  • Do not talk down to readers
  • Describe the link in a way that’s more helpful
  • Avoid running sentences
  • Steer clear of writing in a condescending tone
  • Align the copy to the sentence case prescribed in the global copy guidelines
  • Avoid rambling – it’s not necessary to explain the obvious that has already been laid out in the header

The outcome

Unfortunately this is one of those times when a copywriter’s recommendations are not taken. However, I did note down the rationale for all my suggestions so we can revisit it in the future if the opportunity arises.