The challenge

Edit the copy that will go into HSBC Armenia’s coronavirus information hub so that our customers know what they can do to manage their finances during this period and how we can support them.

The context

The original information hub was a single webpage which our colleagues wanted to break into four so that customers could navigate it more efficiently. This change was particularly crucial if we needed to add more information to it in the future.

We had to rewrite the copy as some of it sounded like legal jargon. And because we could all do with a little reassurance and friendliness in a time like this.

The solution

  • Shorten the length of the copy
  • Apply active voice as much as possible
  • Assume that the situation has affected all customers, not just a segment of them
  • Adjust the copy for tone of voice and add more empathy
  • Increase the accuracy of the header so it can be better understood at a glance
  • Show that we understand our customers and their needs
  • Remove legal jargon
  • Align formatting to the Bank’s prescribed digital style guide
  • Use a more precise header
  • Reword the paragraph so we don’t give off an air of assumption, as if we’ve decided what’s important (or not) for our customers
  • Simplify and humanise the language used
  • State the available options in clearer terms for our customers
  • Reduce redundancies
  • Make the copy more straightforward

The outcome

Even just internally, I received feedback that the copy was “much improved” shortly after submitting the edits to the stakeholders. The copy was later reused by our colleagues in Bermuda for their own coronavirus information hub as well.

Extra

Separately, I was working with my line manager to streamline the way we collated the many coronavirus copy requests that came our way. A lot of them were sent by email, which made it difficult for us to understand the volume and to distribute them among the team without doubling up.

Ultimately, I created a Confluence page where we could add new requests to a table, with a link to their Jira tickets. Copywriters can then add their name next to the item they want to take on, so everyone knows who’s handling what. It was a simple but effective solution that also eliminated confusion over the creation of multiple sub-tickets for different elements of a single piece (e.g. one for design, one for copy, etc.)